When I visit the patio, sometimes I am hiding out! You may ask “from what or whom are you hiding?” My response would generally be that I have had all I can handle of Hubs and marriage woes, or that if I’m outside I can’t see the chores needing done inside….however, there are outdoor chores too, and sometimes Hubs sits outside with me….so either way I don’t always get to hide.
Let’s talk marriage woes. Everybody has them, most are similar and yet a few are unique. I tend to veer away from writing or speaking specifically on the marriage relationship. Mostly, because Hubs and I have not yet arrived at the marriage of “my” expectations and I struggle with that.. a lot. The struggle is mainly because of my un-realistic expectations and a lot of stubbornness in both of us. I’d like to blame it all on Hubs but when I’m prayed up and reading my bible regularly …my hands are busy and I can’t point any fingers. But if I were going to cover marriage, I would say that Hubs knows how to irritate me, he thinks it’s a sport and most of the time I fall for it and forget to act like I’m saved! When this happens it can be funny, but it can also be damaging, disrespectful and drain all the peace from our home and our lives. When peace is absent I start doubting Hubs love for me, and question my own for him. When the turmoil goes unattended it festers, and there have been times over the past 26 years that the pain from this causes me to want to call it quits. I love when I’m shown love, and I hate when I’m being manipulated, disrespected, abused or even just teased. You could say my love is conditional….I might almost agree.
I’m not writing this to air our dirty laundry….well not without a kingdom purpose anyways. You know, I’m not tattling but, our marriage and home isn’t the only one lacking peace.
So lately, I have been in that conditional loving mode again. Don’t worry it didn’t last long. Luckily, for me I wasn’t being stubborn but, I was seeking… and when the Lord spoke I was listening. Here’s how he did it;
A week or so ago, I was in a conversation with someone who had no peace in her marriage, home or within herself. I shared with her some of my own marriage struggles. My sweet, tenderhearted, almost eight year old granddaughter was with me and her little ears were listening more than I realized. She later snuggled up to me, hugging me tight and said “Meme, don’t you and Popie ever get a divorce.” I confess that these words rocked my core. God revealed so much to me about my conditional love problem in that moment that my head was spinning. He also reminded me that satan wants to kill, steal and destroy the peace, security and stability that is vitally needed in a home, marriage and in a child’s heart and life…he also reminded me that we aren’t fighting a spouse, in-laws or strong-willed kids….we are fighting a war on the family led by satan.
John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
God showed up again this morning with a message on love as I filled my coffee mug and headed for the patio. The mug I chose had the word “forever” printed on it with a red heart (as you see in the picture)
As I sipped, I heard him say that he loves me “forever” I felt my heart fill with peace and gratitude. He didn’t stop there, he then asked me “how long will you love me; how long will you love Hubs?” My heart in my throat as my eyes welled with tears I repentantly whispered this response….”forever, unconditionally forever.”
I hope you’ll join me….and seek Gods peace, resist the devil, and love unconditionally.
P.S. If you are looking for some wise marriage guidance by someone who doesn’t veer away from the real issues of marriage, sex and parenting…then please try this book written by my Pastor Kevin A. Thompson at www.friendspartnerslovers.com