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We May Never Have the Earthy Dad We Deserve

I sneak out to the patio into the still blue sky morning, with air thick smelling of earth my eyes linger on the sky. It’s a little earlier than usual for me to go tip toeing to the patio, but today is the start of all things new and disciplined as we just got back from another four day trip. Two back to back trips containing an overabundance of sugar, salt and everything that’s good but… bad for ya!

This second trip ended up resembling one of the Griswald family vacation’s. We took our daughter and granddaughter and did the amusement park thing. I have to admit when it comes to our girls, Hubs is putty in their hands. When it was time to chose the next activity, or place to eat we would ask him his choice, but he mostly let the small child in the backseat pull his strings. This amazes, blesses and very slightly confuses me because with me he’s very seldom putty, but brick. It seems that Hubs has a very ornery side, and has now instilled this into our sweet, innocent, precious grandchild. He loves to “play” kick and fight with her. When he makes contact, she then plays like she’s wounded and clings to me. She on the other hand is still learning to control the muscles to lightly kick and punch. Watching this little thing they do, can be quite annoying and very comical. I usually have to put a stop to it in public, scolding both grownup and child. On this trip they both were wearing me out with this “thing” they do.

As the three of us stood in line at the checkout inside a shoe store. Hubs was innocently getting his wallet out to pay, when the G-child throws a kick to his groin area! As he flinches almost dropping the wallet, he starts laughing through gritted teeth passing the debit card to the clerk. Her face was priceless! I grabbed my purchase and quickly exited the store, annoyed and cracking up. As we enter the sidewalk, they don’t miss a beat but continue their shenanigans!

I get onto Hubs a lot for his parenting sills or lack of, but I cherish the relationship that he has with our children and grandchild. I cherish and focus on all the positive relationships I see between father’s and their children/grandchildren. My father experiences weren’t so positive. I know and love many friends who’s experiences with their father’s and step father’s were horrific. These specific holidays for celebrating parents are difficult and impossible for the victims.

I hope as you read this and relate, that your experiences with your Dad were positive ones. If they were anything but positive, my heart hurts with yours and I hope that one day you can forgive and be free.

Choosing to forgive an absent Father, whom I pursued for many years without reciprocation couldn’t have happened without my faith in God….. and it didn’t happen over night. God created man, but some men become monsters. Forgiving a physically abusive Father or Step Father can take a lifetime of work, but the choice to do so will bring healing, freedom and victory. Some of us may never have the earthly Father we deserve, they may never even confess or ask us for forgiveness. We can only control ourselves, and by choosing to release that anger, hurt, bitterness, violation, humiliation and self-guilt we are no longer Victims we are…. Victorious!

Join me today as we learn to celebrate the positive Mother’s and Father’s in life…and leave the other’s to Gods handling.

“Lord, we cannot carry these burdens any longer. Please give us strength, courage and wisdom as we fight to forgive and become Victorious! Remind us that your heart also breaks for us, and that one day you will bring to justice those who never repent for their wrong doing. Thank you for seeing us through, bring beauty from our ashes. In Jesus name Amen.”

 

 

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